Tag Archives: consequences

De-Escalating Conflict with Kids

Imagine the following interaction that took place in my office earlier this week between 17-year-old Shondi, her mother. and me. Mom (angrily): Tell Dr. Sayers what you and your friends did. Shondi: [says nothing, sinks lower into the sofa, shrugs … Continue reading

Posted in Children of all ages, Elementary/Lower School, High/Upper School, Middle/Junior High School, Preschool/Nursery School, Young Adult | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

No Free Passes

Many of the kids I see in therapy are the kinds of kids adults often refer to as “good kids.” They work hard in school, they are well-liked by peers and adults, they are active in arts or athletics or community … Continue reading

Posted in Children of all ages, Elementary/Lower School, High/Upper School, Middle/Junior High School, Young Adult | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Using Consequences Effectively, Part 2: Positive Consequences

My last post was about using negative consequences effectively. In that post, I provided examples of negative consequences that are relevant to parenting. If you haven’t seen that post yet, it would be a good idea to read it here before … Continue reading

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Using Consequences Effectively, Part I: Negative Consequences

A lot of the work I do is parent training. Parents bring their child (or children) to me because they are struggling to manage his or her difficult behavior. There may be a specific behavior of concern such as lying (see … Continue reading

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In the Rare Event that a Preschooler Does Not Listen…

About a year ago, I published a post entitled Preschoolers Playing the Odds about the tendency for parents of young children to issue far too many unimportant commands and to follow through on a very small number of them. This parenting … Continue reading

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Bullying Is a Community Problem

I have written about bullying before (See Don’t Go Back to Middle School, Zero Tolerance, and The Importance of Ickiness). Not surprisingly, it is a topic I hear about often from my child and adolescent clients and their parents. When I … Continue reading

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The Awesome Power of Intermittent Reinforcement

Many years ago, when cell phones with video-recording capability were a recent invention, the mother of an 11-year-old client of mine showed up in my office in a tizzy. She wanted to show me what had happened on the way … Continue reading

Posted in Children of all ages, Elementary/Lower School, High/Upper School, Middle/Junior High School, Preschool/Nursery School | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments